Less like Adam, More like God

Sorry for my lack of blogging.

It has almost been a week since I blogged and that blog was about a chocolate candy that I am addicted too…so not much substance from me lately. Yes I am in love but that is not my excuse. And yes I have been busy but I always find time to Blog. To tell you the truth I have just had a little bit of writers block this past week. No real ideas have come to me.

But I have been reading the Word more than usual this week and when that happens God just has a way of speaking to you. So I have a few random thoughts to share with you.

The first is a praise. I praise God for my girlfriend Paola. And I praise Him that we have decided to get together at a regular time each week just to share the Word and pray together. We are studying the Sermon on the Mount right now in Matthew 5-7 and I am excited to study and share the insights God gives me and excited to hold her hand and pray with her. I just have to stop and praise God for this. I don’t know if I can honestly tell you how refreshing it is to be with someone who shares the same passion for Jesus Christ that I share. I can’t tell you how many times in my past when I was wrestling in my mind trying to make a girl I met “just be Christian enough.” It is such a tremendous blessing and gift from God to be with someone who I know shares my same heart for Christ.

And I am really starting to see how being in a relationship kinda equals God shining a giant large mirror right in your face. I guess I didn’t really have great experience with this before but it just seems like relationships don’t solve your problems, they magnify them. And I can start to see my faults more when I see Paola. I see what I am not when I see her. I see what I am lacking. I see how much like Adam I am sometimes. Passive. Indecisive. Scared. But I also see in her the man that God says I can be and that is pretty exciting too. I am just realizing that I want to be more like God and less like Adam. And although I am experiencing some pretty scary self-revelations right now I am thankful that God took the time to prepare me these last three years for the Christian relationship I am enjoying now. I am so much more prepared because of the one-on-one time that I had with God these past few years after truly accepting Christ into my life on a daily basis at the start of 2005.

And the other random thought that is really on mind right now is that…I want to want Jesus to come back.

I know that the Bible says that no one knows when Jesus will come back but someone told me the other day that they thought the time was getting closer and something inside of me freaked a little bit. You know what I mean? I mean it is the “Christian thing to say” that you want Jesus to come back but I am wondering how many out there really truly mean it. How many of us are really truly ready to leave all of this stuff behind? I realized that my bags aren't quite packed yet.

I believe all this Jesus stuff. I believe He is the Son of God. I believe He died for my sins. And I believe if I don’t go see Him first, He’s gonna come get me…but something inside of me still feels my plans on this earth would be messed up a little if Jesus came back.

I mean there are things I want to do on this earth and in this life and I want to make sure I get my fill before He comes back. I just think it is funny that after all I have seen Christ do in my life, something inside of me still struggles with the realization that life in heaven will be indescribably better than anything this earth has to offer. Am I the only one out there who struggles with this? And I am “missionary” after all. How can I struggle with this of all people?

I am just being honest with you. I love Christ. And I have seen too much of His love, blessing and salvation in my life to ever leave Him. But it is a process to become more like Him and less like this world.

And I am just learning that I still think this world has way too much to offer.