About two and a half years ago, about three months into my whole “walk with Christ”, I began keeping a spiritual journal. I wrote in the journal on Saturday, April 2, 2005 that “I never want to forget God’s impact on my life. My hope is that through the words and thoughts that follow I will be able to track God’s hand on my life for the rest of my life…”
I kept it up for about a year and a half but man my hand started to hurt so now I just type instead of write…anyway, I am so glad that I did write for awhile because every now and then I open the old journal up and read about what I was thinking about two years ago.
Well, I am moving out of the condo in the next few weeks and in the process of going through everything in my room I came across the journal.
I found a few entries that I think apply directly to the next step of my life and I just share them with you as a confirmation that I think God was moving me down this path to Bolivia long before I even knew where Bolivia was.
Sunday, June 26, 2005 (A little over two years ago)
Heavenly Father, I want to get in the game. I am so thankful that you have invited me to play a part in YOUR story. Thank you for helping me realize that it is not about me getting you involved in my story, it’s about me deciding to get involved in YOUR story. I want to participate. I want to use my life to glorify and honor you and help spread your redemptive message to everyone I can. I want to use the talents and abilities that you have given me to help make investments in lives here on earth that will last an eternity.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005 (Almost two years ago)
I have been thinking a lot about a message that Jeff Henderson gave a few weeks back where he said we should all strive to align our frustrations w/ God’s frustrations. He urged us to find our “Holy Discontentment.” He believes that when we find “that”, we can truly begin to impact this world with God’s love. I think mine might be kids. Abused children have really begun to break my heart over the last few weeks, specifically sexually abused children, and I feel God leading me to get involved somewhere and volunteer my time to help out. I am becoming less and less interested in promoting the arts and I want to spend more time working with issues that I know frustrate God. I want to feel like my life counts. I want to have an eternal perspective in everything I do and I want to use the gifts God blessed me with the share His love with those around me.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006 (about one year ago)
Now...for the really BIG thing. I feel God calling me back to Bolivia and I am currently gathering info on a few opportunities to return to Cochabamba next summer and stay for an extended period of time, possibly a year. As I look back on the last year I can really see God preparing me for this mission. I feel Him telling me to pursue this. The more I stare at the picture from Bolivia on my desk at work the faster I want to get back there and the less interested I become in my job at the Alliance. This can only be explained as a God thing. Who else could take a career path that consumed me for six years and say, “Just drop it.” I just pray daily that God’s will is done and I know that if He needs me in Bolivia He will get me there. Father, lead me to a ministry in Bolivia where I can make a major impact for your kingdom. Show me that there is more to life than what my culture has conditioned me to think. Enlarge my border and ministry. Send me where you need me most. Whatever the question is Father…I say “Yes”!