Inconsistency

I am just inconsistent in my time with God right now. Period.

Sometimes I make time for Him. And sometimes I don’t. It is kinda scary how sometimes it doesn’t take very much for us to make God a lower priority in our lives. Busyness. Work. Family. Friends.

I am just a little frustrated right now because of the inconsistency in my time with God. I mean. I am a missionary. A professional Christian and if I struggle to make time for God…

This year has been a roller coaster. It is to be expected I guess in your first year as a missionary. Meeting people and building relationships. Learning which bus or taxi to take. Learning a new language. Trying to say “thank you” enough to the people back home.

I have had periods of extreme closeness to God this year. I have had some really high highs and some definite lows. But lately I just feel like God is someone that I see crossing the street everyday...someone that I just say “Hi” to. I thank him for waking me up. I thank Him for meals. And I thank Him for getting me through the day.

But that seems to be it. Sure I will have a string of days when I am spending good consistent time with Him but I am simply inconsistent.

The busyness of life gets in the way. The busyness of serving gets in the way for missionaries. Satan will do whatever He can to keep me busy. And I know that if I do not enjoy consistent alone time with God I will most certainly burn out.

I mean I am only in month 10 of this whole missionary thing. And this is a calling for life.

But the more I talk to people about this issue of time with God the more I realize that I am not the only one who struggles with this. Practically everyone I talk to nods their head in agreement and agrees that they need to spend more time with God than they are currently spending with Him. Understandable and I totally agree.

We all need more time with God. But I am not going to just say that I need more time without taking a look at the time I am currently spending with God. If I am not spending time with God and just "saying" that I need to spend more time with Him it is not good.

I just don’t want that “crossing the street” relationship with God. And I know that life will only get busier. First you get married. Then you get a dog. Then you have a kid.

Life keeps going and going. But I know that there are Christians out there who are married, have dogs and have kids and also have strong intimate consistent time with God.

How have they made this a discipline and not lost the fire in their relationship with God. The key to growing any good relationship is time. But why do I believe this is true with all of my relationships except my most important one…my relationship with God.

[A little frustrated but blessed beyond belief in La Paz.]