Yesterday

So yesterday was a day that confirmed that leaving Atlanta and moving to La Paz is definitely not going to be easy. In fact, I think that this whole move is the most difficult thing that I have ever done in my life.

I am two weeks away from getting on the plane and the goodbyes are pretty much happening every day now. Yesterday was a big day. I think what got me was the amount of goodbyes that I had yesterday. It was the most that I had experienced in one day so far. I stopped by my old job at the Alliance Theatre to say goodbye to my former co-workers. And it was great to spend some time with them and see them one more time before I take off. It was a flurry of goodbyes. Also, I was able to say goodbye to my hero Miss Mattie, she is my favorite security guard at the Arts Center and she showed me what tears of joy looked like yesterday. She cried, hugged me, told me that she loved me and told me to “Go with God.”

And to add to all of those goodbyes I had a really tough goodbye last night. I had dinner with my former boss and her husband. Virginia was my boss at the Alliance Theatre for the last several years. She is my mentor. I learned more from her in the business world than anyone else. And she was not just a great boss. Her and Ken are great friends and they showed me so much hospitality over the years. This was a tough one. About half way through dinner I realized that this really WAS the last time that I would spend with them for awhile. I used to see her everyday but now that has changed. And as the weight of that sunk in it really hurt. It stung.

It was very emotional when I got up to leave and after we said our goodbyes…I left. And I cried as I drove away. I can’t help it. Crying is part of my life right now. I am one of those freakin Kleenex commercials right now. I swear if I see a guy with a box of Kleenex and a sofa on the side of the road asking me to sit and talk with him I am just gonna be like, “Naw man, I’m good. Thanks.”

Yes I am sad but I also feel joy and obedience through my tears. I suddenly felt alone as I drove home tonight and I actually cried out for God to comfort me. (I bet the person next to me at the stoplight just thought, “Man, the holidays must really be getting to THAT guy.”) But as I drove home in my loneliness I felt God reassure me that “Curt, you are not alone. Remember that I promised to be with you always. And guess what – nothing can separate you from My love.”

Wow.

These last thirteen days are going to be a mess. I have many more goodbyes ahead of me before I go. My family and many more close friends.

Tears are going to flow. And I am glad. I want it to hurt. I want it to sting. I think that my emotion and tears are proof that I actually invested something in another life. And I don’t think that there is anything better than that on this earth.