Kaboom!!!

I blew it this past Saturday night. A group of friends and I went out on the town for a little belated birthday celebration for me. As I mentioned, my 30th birthday was a few weeks back but I was in Colorado at the time and I was not able to celebrate with my friends in Atlanta.

It was great to see my friends but Saturday night was not good. It was fun at the time but going out was just not the wise thing for me to do. It is tough. I debated last week about just doing something low key for my birthday instead of going out to a club and dancing. I have been out plenty of times and I know where that leads. And I didn’t want it to lead there but I guess I didn’t want it enough to change my birthday plans. I think sometimes that we have invented all these special occasions in order to give ourselves license to wear a mask and be someone else for a night.

I did not like the “someone else” that I became on Saturday night. And It frustrates me how I just put God on a shelf sometimes. It is a temptation. I mean I try to live this Christian life but every now and then I decide to take off the “Jesus” hat and hang out with the world for an evening. But it’s ok right because I can just pick Jesus back up tomorrow. After all, He forgives me right? I don’t want to live like that.

I am tired of temporarily setting God aside in order to pursue my own goals and desires. It just doesn’t work for me. I am starting to truly realize that I love Jesus MORE than some of the things of this world that I have loved in the past.

Doing some of the things that I have always done just doesn’t make sense any more. I do the same things yet I expect a different result. How whacked out is that? And I am tired of looking for my acceptance in other people vs. acknowledging God’s acceptance of me.

Bottom line: It is time for me to stop caring so much about how my actions may offend others. It is a tough line to walk because the last thing I ever want to do is judge someone else for what THEY do.

I just want God to grant me the courage to say, “it is just not the wisest thing for ME to do.”